“I don’t know how you do it”…is a statement I get very
frequently referring to my Wog life.
I know exactly how I do it and it’s only by the grace of God. I take nor deserve any credit. I have learned to live each day focused
on the tasks at hand. Honestly my
life scares me on a regular basis.
Questions like how am I going to coordinate all the kid’s activities,
how am I going to afford to raise all these kids, am I making the right
decisions for their futures? I
regularly feel like a parenting failure when I yell, loose my patience, don’t
cook a well-balanced meal or don't cook at all.
When I leave dishes in the sink, beds unmade, and ignore the dog that
really deserves a walk. Life will
beat the heck out of you if you let it. I could have a "guilt-driven life" for sure. I make no resolutions so that I won’t fail at that too. I do have high hopes for the new
year. I hope and pray that I will
make sure my kids know how loved they are, that I will laugh more and continue
to ignore the things that don’t matter.
I love making family memories and of course taking an
abundant amount of pictures. I
only take pictures in a desperate attempt to capture and preserve every
fleeting moment that I have my full family in tact. People pick on me about it,
make fun of my endless posts but I say unfollow, defriend and hide me if you
are not interested in my crazy Wog life.
I post for me. I post to
recount all my many blessings amongst the mass chaos. I post to see with my own eyes the miracle that we are. I force myself to keep moving, to keep
trying and to always keep believing.
I battle to believe for the best every day. I pray hard to stifle the fears that keep me up at night and that try to
paralyze me from moving forward. I try my hardest to look past my
disappointments, fears and opinions and believe that nothing is too hard for my
God. Every day I do my best to
choose to believe for the best in those I live with, work with and deal
with. It’s not easy and I
don’t always succeed but I will keep trying.
I read a book this week that said “my fears were replaced
with experience." That sums up my
life. My experiences haven’t been
all good but my fears were false. I know I am stronger than I think I am
through my experiences. I have
seen the power that comes from my relationship with God. I sold out a long time ago and I am not
going back to trying to do things in my own strength. I don’t want my fears to stop me. I want to be brave, to try
new things and to believe for miracles.
Always.
Things I have learned...If you want to change the world, you won’t always have your
house tiddy. If you want to be
available to be used by God to help others, your agenda has to be set
aside. If you want to do more and
be more, you have to be flexible. If
you are going to do great things, your "to do list" will be unchecked. For control freaks like me this is not good news
at all. But I say, let it go,
(thank you Frozen) and look for opportunities everyday to love someone, pray
for someone and to encourage someone.
To bring hope and life to another soul is the biggest reward of all. If I can teach my kids to pray, to
give, to live for others and to serve than I am a parenting success! If I teach them to be selfish and
self-serving than I have failed.
As I look at my full families picture (that I didn’t post first by the way! :) I see the fruit of a life well
lived by my parents who chose to serve God at a young age and raised us in church. Oh how the blessings have poured
out over my family because of two peoples decision… a life of praying, loving, giving,
serving and multiplying from generation to generation. That is the legacy I want to continue
in my Wog world. It’s not always
easy but that will be my hope and prayer for a truly happy new year!
