Sunday, June 19, 2016

Father's Day 2016


The dog woke me up licking my feet.  It’s one of the most irritating things to me.  I had so many years of babies waking me up and now we have a dog that has taken on the task.  It did afford me the time as I wrestled to go back to sleep to think about Father’s Day.  I thought about my Daddy and how much I miss him but how loved I was.  I thought about Dan and what an incredible father he is to our five kids.  When you marry someone, you take so many chances.  They may be nice to you and you may get a long great while you are dating but you never know what will happen when you merge two lives together, not to mention adding five kids in the mix!

Dan and I always had the best time.  I am still not sure why we get a long the way we do.  We are not opposite personalities. We are both babies of the families full of opinions.  One of the things I have always appreciated is our sense of humor.  We are both sarcastic and we laugh a lot.   With the hectic life we created, you either laugh or cry. One of the things I have always loved about Dan is he doesn't worry. I am sure he does to some extent but he never obsesses about problems, or fixates on them like I do. He doesn’t freak out in the night and stay up trying to figure things out.  He doesn’t panic on how we are going to raise these kids and move importantly, how we are going to feed them!  He truly takes one day at time like the Bible instructs us to.

People marvel at how we keep up with all of our kid’s activities.  I chose wisely in picking my kid’s father!  Dan grew up in a house with two hard working parents and so that is what Dan knows to do.  He also grew up in a house where his parents were true partners, not segregated in their typical roles.  His mom worked and his dad did most of the cooking.  It just worked best that way.


Dan has been the hardest working father I have ever known.  He is passionately committed to helping his kids reach their goals.  He puts them first everyday.  He has laid aside the things he wants and loves to do in order to accommodate his kids and their activities. When I met Dan, he played golf almost everyday and was really good.  He used to play golf every Friday with my Dad while he was in college.  Now he will go years without playing and never complains.   

He sold a nice car he loved dearly in order to cover the kid’s expenses for the things they are involved in. Our vacations surround our kid’s sports.  He buys them the gear they need and rarely buys nice brands for himself anymore.  The biggest shock of all is he is now a faithful grocery shopper at Walmart because the prices are so cheap and we buy so much food. He fixes everything, builds things and is never afraid to tackle any challenge.

I am so glad I took a chance marrying a guy still in college.  I remember hoping he would be a hard worker when he graduated college but I had no idea how hard he would work.  This life is much bigger and wild than we would have ever dreamed. It is filled with individual, unique, spirited, strong, opinionated children who have known the sacrificial love of a Daddy who would do whatever it takes to provide and protect them.  

He is not easy on them.  He makes them work hard.  He doesn’t allow them to be disrespectful.  He makes them keep their commitments and expects them to do well in school.  He is always there for them and they know above all else that he will do anything for them.
One of the most important things I believe that Dan has taught them is how to love their mother.  I heard a sermon recently about Deborah in the Bible who was a Judge.  She was a leader but was also a wife. Sometimes people act like you can’t do both.  There are still so many men in the world that resist women leaders.  They may not say it because it’s not politically correct anymore but they make it clear they would rather work with men and have the women just make their coffee.  They have the attitude like they are forced to tolerate the women leaders in their life.  

Dan has fostered an environment in our home where he celebrates my leadership, believes in me, listens to me and cheers me on. When I was asked to be the Chairman of Board and was nervous about it, Dan is the one despite our ridiculous schedule encouraged me to do it.  Dan is the one who pushed me to take a new leadership role last year knowing it would be time consuming and difficult for our whole family.  Dan is the one that on a crazy busy weekend of multiple kid activities thought I should officiate a wedding and was willing to help me manage all the kids to make it possible. 
My prayer is that my girls will never marry a man that doesn’t believe in their leadership and who supports the call of God on their life.   My prayer for my boys is that they will love their wives like they have watched their Dad do and never limit them or diminish their gifts and talents.  

Dan has taught them love and devotion in marriage and in our society that is probably the best gift of all for my children.  Oh and he has also shown them how important it is to hone your coffee making skills.  He has made me coffee almost everyday for 21 years even though he doesn’t drink it.  Now that is true love!  I am so thankful that Dan is the father of our five incredible kids.  When I found out I was pregnant for the fifth time, someone told me that God trusted Dan and I enough to allow us to raise and train up five kids.  I can see now that Dan was truly the man for the job and I am forever grateful!  Happy Father’s Day Dan!
 

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Mother's Day 2016


The sad reality is that I never blog anymore.  I truly love it. It’s like therapy to unleash my inner thoughts and feelings with no one rolling their eyes, judging me or telling me to calm down. When I am stressed and exhausted, I have no energy to blog.  My brain can’t produce any intelligent thoughts by the end of the day. That’s basically been my daily feelings for the past year. Well, today is my day.  I have the mother’s day right to be in my bed, to not be productive and to lounge around doing whatever I want.  The kids are restricted from complaining and asking me to do anything and it’s pretty fantastic. Well, except Eddie who thought it would be a good idea for me to get him a prize for all the cleaning he did.  He is quite aggravated with this restriction on his mom slave.  

Bless Dan’s heart.  He always puts way too much effort into mother’s day despite the fact that I tell him EVERY year, that I don’t want gifts and I don’t want to go out. I want to sleep and have the kids clean the house only.  I nice thoughtful note from the kids thanking me for my hard labor would be a bonus.  He can’t help himself.  He always blows it out of the park to bless me with awesome gifts that I love and that I totally don’t need.  I think I disappoint him with my lack of social fun.  I always want to stay at home and not have to work hard to look presentable. It’s getting more and more difficult as the years tick by.  I have skin cancer scars, age spots, freckles to hide every day and gray hair that I have resorted to plucking.  I know nothing about hair dye and I am scared to try based on the freaky deaky fake red hair that I have seen. So tonight it’s the real deal, the real me with no disguise. Sorry family you have to suffer through…it’s mother’s day weekend!

People give me a lot of credit when my kids do something great or thoughtful or generally behave themselves. I honestly don’t feel like we can take any credit. Dan and I didn’t set out with parenting goals or skills. Day by day we are stumbling through this parenting thing and sometimes we are just awful. We say hateful things, inappropriate things, immature things, selfish things….I truly am thankful there are good things in all my kids. It’s only because of a gracious God who covers us and helps us despite our shortcomings.  Speaking of shortcomings…one cool thing that I didn’t plan or anticipate was the fact that because of the areas I lack, my kids have actually taken up the slack.  The fact that I forget about dinner many days and that 7 people need to eat has caused Maggie and Bonnie to be pro-active.  So many times, over the last year since I went to work full-time, my girls have meat frying in the pan when I come in from one of my kid drop-offs.  They are so much better at cooking and being creative in the kitchen than I have ever been. That was quite a surprise parent win.  I could pretend that I did it on purpose but we all know that’s not true. Accidental positive result from sucking.

Last night, my heart was flooded with shock, love and joy.  My house was a hot mess when I got home from a long day.  I had a busy week and was out almost every night.  Dishes everywhere, laundry and shoes scattered everywhere and I was totally wiped out.  I tried to will myself to get busy and to bust a move like I would normally do but my legs hurt so I opted to sit down for 30 minutes.  While I was at YQL, Bubba, Annie and Eddie went above and beyond and cleaned like I didn’t know they had the capacity to do. I am not sure they should have rocked it so much because now I know what they are capable of!  It was like a miracle when I opened the door, exhausted and ready for bed.  I stood stunned staring at a mother’s day sign made by 15 year old son…..what?  I didn’t cry but I should have. I am a little now writing about it. Moments like this make me so happy and confident that they are going to grow up to be just fine.  

The one thing I have tried to do right is to show my kids love, dedication, hard work, to love God and how to pray.  I truly believe that if my kids know God and depend on Him than the skies the limit for their futures.  God fills in the gaps that parents leave.  God makes up for our deficiencies and gives us His power to accomplish things we could never do on our own. God is the difference maker towards a life of success. Today while I am reflecting on my 17 Mother’s Day, I give a shout out to Dan for being the best unconventional Dad, by grocery shopping, making breakfast and lunches and being our kid’s biggest fan. I give an even BIGGER shout out to God for helping me get this far in my Motherhood journey.  Next year, I will launch my first baby into legal adulthood and I feel confident that they will all totally soar out of the coop with God propelling them wherever they go and that makes it the best mother’s day ever!