Launch

Three months ago I launched my firstborn into her college dorm and out of my house. Everyone says how fast life goes but this experience was just shocking. You know your job is to raise a responsible adult that makes good decisions but you don’t like it when it happens. I purposed in my heart to make it fun and exciting and not to be an emotional wreck making her feel guilty for leaving home. We really did have a great time setting up her dorm and I was genuinely excited for her.

What I have learned is the experience of Bonnie being at college has opened up a whole new world for our family. She is a college cheerleader and we have been so proud of her hard work and dedication. Her schedule has been grueling but she is making it work. It has been an amazing experience sitting on the sidelines of your child’s life and watching them live their dream. Bonnie has cheered her entire life and always dreamed of being a college cheerleader. She didn’t think it would happen for her but she never gave up. Instead of loosing Bonnie we have met the most precious young ladies who we already love dearly.

This past week Bonnie came home to stay for a few nights over Thanksgiving break. My heart was full and my peace of mind was at an all time high. I know she will never be as dependent on us again and knows how to live on her own. But there is something indescribable about having all your babies under the same roof, safely tucked in their beds. Our family was whole and I just wanted time to stop and us exist all together with no hectic busy schedule in the way. We resumed staying up late talking and playing some weird text game the kids love. It was simple and magical all at the same time.

I cherished our few days all together more than I can say. I took as many pictures as the kids could tolerate. As I hurried to finish Bonnie’s laundry and helped her pack her car to go back to her dorm, I started feeling myself getting emotional and wanting to cry. I just wanted to keep my girl home forever. I didn’t want to watch her drive away from us back to her new life. I hugged her and let her go and forced myself to contain my emotions.


The reality is I can fight my kids growing up and focus on my loss of them in my daily life or I can embrace every season and not ruin the current state of things. I choose to be grateful that I was blessed with so many wonderful babies and so many special times. I choose to release them when the time comes and not to hold them back for my own comfort. I choose to be thankful that God picked me to be their mom but I am sure counting down until Christmas break comes and my firstborn returns home to us again!