Traditions

Wrapping up a year is a reflective time.  Time is a blur and I admit I have stared at my Christmas card collage a few times and was like, “We survived all this?”  It’s been quite an epic and busy year.  Not that any year in the life of the Wogs is calm or boring.  Wogs and calm are never said together!

Historically with all five kids, I have dreaded Christmas.  Not in a grinch kind of way but in a “We Broke!” kind of way.  When you are trying to be “Santa” and keep Christmas magical, it tends to get pricey.  It’s not that our kids ask for outrageous gifts. It’s just the amount of kids asking.  Once reality kicked in with the kids, we could have honest conversations like, “Are you out of your freakin’ mind?” when gift requests were ridiculous.  There is a wonderful relief when the Santa façade is over.  Although shopping for gifts at the Dollar Tree was fantastic!

 

Instead of lamenting how big the kids are and how sad it is that they are grown, I will celebrate the joys.  Before I had kids, a wise older mom of one of my youth group kids told me something I have never forgotten. I asked her if she was sad her daughter was now in youth group already and she said, “Absolutely not!  I made a decision to celebrate every stage of her life!”  I have tried to do the same each time that sadness starts to creep in my heart when my huge children are listening to questionable rap music and driving away into danger in the cars, we bought them.  

 

As the kids have aged, the time of present opening is later which I LOVE!!!  It’s a peaceful, sweet time of Dan and I listening to Christmas music and sometimes staring at a fire depending on the weather.  Dan and Annie LOVE Christmas music and may or may not listen year around. Dan asked Annie if she was worried that her college roommate wouldn’t like all the Christmas music and Annie may be most stressed about that possible situation.

 

I have never enjoyed cooking.  It’s an annoying ordeal.  I think maybe I could have if I had less mouths to feed.  It’s always been a stressor for me because they want to eat all the time.  Thankfully God is merciful, and kind and Maggie is a fantastic, wing it kind of cook.  She slaps together food in the spirit of my sister Sharri and my mom.  It seems effortless and I cheer her on for selfish reasons. Along with her cooking skills, Mags also made straight A’s this semester in college, and I couldn’t be more proud of her!  The kids got Dan a gas griddle and Dan said yesterday that it is his most favorite gift….mine too since I am regularly the recipient of the goodness from the griddle.

The biggest change for the Wogs this year was adding a family member! Bonnie and Billy met at 4 and married almost 20 years later!  It was so perfect but way too long of an engagement but such a beautiful, perfect day! The craziest part of the year was Bonnie getting a puppy a month before the wedding. What? That cute little beagle looking, mini-KC looking puppy wreaked some havoc of exhaustion and stress as we wedding prepped. She is super cute but super hyper.  I love my grand pup Penny and try to walk her regularly!

Bonnie had all her siblings over for Festivus and played games for hours. We babysat the dog on the coldest night of the year which was super challenging. Penny didn't seem to notice though! I did buy her the cutest dog jacket ever! Overshadowed by the wedding was the fact that my firstborn graduated with honors with her masters! I am so proud of her and all she went through and how hard she worked! 

Eddie is thriving and seems to keep growing and growing!  He had a surprising, incredible season of football.  His team lost EVERY football game last year and ended up this year winning the WHOLE championship of 38 public charter school.  The saddest thing that happened was Eddie got the stomach flu for the championship, but his team rallied and won anyway!  The most touching moment was his team holding up the trophy screaming “FOR EDDIE!”  Eddie said he cried every time he watched the video…it meant so much to him!  He felt like he was letting down his team.

Dan turned the BIG 50 this December and I surprised him with an overnight stay in Fernandina.  It was so perfect, and the good news is we still love being together after almost 30 years.  I think that is a miracle in itself and a testament to God’s blessings. We have always but God first in our family, training our kids in the way they should go! The kids have had their ups and downs, but they know God is always there for them in times of need.

 

I love traditions but have learned that sometimes they become bondage and stressful. One such tradition is to get and decorate the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving.  I never meant for it to be a tradition but for Bubba, it’s the law!  This year he stayed behind from the river trip to keep up the tradition.  He may or may not have ripped off the poor young kid at Ace.  The $60 dollar tree is huge, so I am a bit suspicious.  Bubba and Annie decorated the whole yard with lights why we were gone and said they couldn’t find the Christmas lights….I told them they were now in the yard apparently.  So, obviously we had to get new lights for the tree and now it seems to have morphed into a “Go Dawgs” tree.    Bubba started a YouTube show, College Football Cauldron and amazes with me with his football knowledge.  He also graduated from college and is ready to start his life most likely in a sports realm.  He has been dedicated to all things sports from the age of 4!  I know the greatest of days are ahead for him! 

 

Speaking of the Dawgs.  I am still processing Annie’s switch for college swimming to the University of Georgia.  It was always her dream to swim there but seemed out of reach.  Annie had a breakout backstroke swim last year so that changed the opportunities for her. Who knew what cutting ½ a second could do for you!  As stressful as the recruiting ordeal is, I can see God’s hand in the whole thing lining things up for our baby girl.  I don’t think it was an accident that UGA hired a Brazilians backstroke specialist right when Annie decides to take the rest of her recruiting visits. (Annie’s coach for the last seven years is Brazilian)  It’s just the right fit and luckily Bubba was prepared for this moment with all his vintage Dawg jerseys and shirts.  

I have always used my beautiful china for Christmas dinner but this year as I was getting ready to set the table. I heard a familiar sound.  I went in the dining room and the kids set up ping pong on my nice dining room table.  My first instinct was to tell them to stop so I could set the table and then I let it all go.  Nope.  Keep playing and have fun.  My china stayed in the cabinet, but the ping pong games went for hours.  Yes, I beat Dan in case you were wondering…. I think knowing when to let traditions go is an important part of life.  Be free and flexible!

 

I really needed a Christmas break for my brain.  It constantly runs. It takes discipline to stop it.  I love my job and the mission behind it, but the pressure is great.  I have never prayed more in my life, and I feel God’s good pleasure on the work we are doing at Cornerstone. Saving the country one prayer at a time.  We are not just shielding kids from the nonsense going on in world, but we are building true leaders….in the adults and students.  An army that will fight for freedom and truth.  I am most grateful that God wasn’t finished with me yet, that He had a surprise deployment for me.  I was born a fighter and a fighter needs a fight.  It’s a worthy one and I believe miracles are on the way because we serve a miracle working God who never sleeps nor slumbers.  He is always working on our behalf and wants to bless us.  I am resting and revving up for a new year of surprises and answered prayers.  Let’s go Spartans and Go Dawgs! 

 

Anniversaries

Milestones, markers, memories, the good, the bad, the ugly, the joy, the sadness, the pain and the healing.  The countdown, survival, progress, growth, relief.  This is what I feel today. When you live through a year and experience every day in a whole calendar year of transition, it’s good to Selah, to praise, to pause, to recognize the moment, to give thanks to God who does not forsake, who is faithful and true and who truly knows what is best.

I have lived through many anniversaries, 52 birthdays, 50 years at the same church, 35 years out of high school, 31 years out of college, 29 years of the same employment, 27 years of marriage, 26 years without my sweet Daddy, 23 years as a mom and now today, 1 year as a Spartan!   I could not be more thankful, more humbled, more awed, more proud than I am today.  My anxieties, doubts and fears did not slay me. My lack, my limitations and my mistakes did not wreck it all.  I am more than a conqueror and well able to do all He has called me to do. God went before me and His gracious hand is upon me. God miraculously assembled every one needed for the new mission and answered the most prayers I have ever prayed. I have confirmed that the devil is a liar; the tormenting voices in the night that I combated were false and powerless and my God is greater!  Through Christ, I am an overcomer.  

 

My advice for anyone who cares is this….TRUST GOD! Perpetually forgive those who betray and lie to you. Shut it out of you brain and pray for God to renew your mind and wipe it all away.  REFUSE to be bitter and DO NOT retaliate.  It takes great discipline to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.  It is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.  

 

Looking forward, I see the miracles that have yet to come. The vision is great. The plan is set and my God will continue to do abundantly more than I could ever ask or think  Will it be easy? Absolutely not!  Will there be pointless, time wasting, ridiculous things to constantly challenge the vision?  Of course!  I expect nothing less than a fierce battle for what is needed to save this country.  Will I stop and give up?  NEVER!  I was made a warrior with a fighting spirit. Other’s tried to squash it calling me combative and unsubmissive….I have always been submitted to my Lord and Savior to do all He has called me to do…. To FIGHT for the next generation of leaders ALWAYS!  To speak the TRUTH and to do the good for as long as I live.   Will it be hard and uncomfortable? YES!  What I see more and more everyday is doors we are not even knocking on, flinging open.  The masses gathering, calling evil, evil and demanding protection and freedom for our children.  How will I survive what is coming?  The same way I have always survived…I will pray and will pray without ceasing because it is not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. Zechariah 4:1. SELAH!

A New Chapter 2021

Never in my life would I have imagined I would leave all I know in my 50’s and start out on a new adventure.   I still wake up some days in shock.  I also would not have believed we are living through a pandemic that has taken so many people.  Life is strange but wonderful.  

I learned so much about myself and my faith as I reflect on the past couple of years. This is rare because I like to stay future focused and not look back. The main thing I am relieved about is that I did not loose my faith when people of faith who I love failed me.  I cringe when I think about those long, tormenting nights when the enemy of my soul crushed me with panic, fear and hopelessness.  I celebrate that I did what I knew to do, what I trained for…I battled.  I interceded. I worshiped. I used the armor of God…every piece of it, to survive the doubts and the voices in my head.  I sought help.  I humbled myself and acknowledged that I needed a counselor to survive with me intact.  I regret not finding one sooner.

I am thankful that I have a husband that after 27 years of being together, STILL thinks I am the smartest person he knows.  His unending pep talks, reminders, advice and the clarity he brought was life saving.  He has no idea how many nights I swirled around in my head his suggestion of selling it all and moving to Montana.  I wanted to run away more than anyone knows. His faith in me and my calling has been unending.  He combated every lie that I was plagued with in the night.  This is marriage at it’s finest.

I am blessed that my five children stand on their own faith with their own strong opinions of right and wrong.  I am relieved that they still believe that God is good after being pastor’s kids since birth and living the reality of ministry life.  I am grateful they gave me the courage and permission to walk away from all they knew also.  I am overwhelmed that God trusted me so much to give me so many kids being the complete hot mess of a mother that I am.  They have grown into my best friends who have cheered me on through transition.

I am so thankful that I have my mom, my big family and sweet friends who propped me up, spurred me on, who challenged me, who yanked me up and forced me to remember the truth that I was born for such a time as this and that I was well able to do all God was calling me to do. God did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.  I have seen what true loyalty looks like and the importance of the right team who is strong and courageous. Trench friends are the best friends.

At the end of our life, Christians pray that we walked out what we have learned.  Have we walked the talked and not just talked the talk?  I have shared countless messages of God’s plan, mission, purpose, and destiny.  Did I really believe it?  Could I truly believe that the best is still yet to come like I told so many?   I feel like on the downward slide of my life, that I am just now stepping out in faith, living on the edge like the Host with the Most challenged us to do.  I am still living everyday hoping/praying I don’t turn into the train wreck who is always looming right under it all. 

I grimace at the thought of going through what I am still coming out of but what I know, not hope, not believe, is that my God is faithful and true, that he never left me or forsook me, not for a moment.  The worship songs I filled my ears with in the dark nights are true that He took what the enemy meant for evil and He turned it for good.   All my life He has been faithful.  All my life He has been so, so good.  

I am stunned that God seems to have led me to a place where the original visions he put deep in my heart are actually going to become a reality.  Visions other’s mocked.  Visions other’s rejected.   Visions that felt like they were just there to torment and taunt me.  Visions of changing the world. 

I see and feel God gathering His army, those who will truly fight arm in arm, back to back, to combat what is unfair, subversive, evil and wrong.  It is time.  It is time to wage the war for the next generation.  It is time to lay it all on the line and go after it.  It is time to be uncomfortable.  It is time to walk in faith and not by sight.  It is time to stop making excuses about resources, age, gender, knowledge or experience.  It’s time to draw a line and to take back our land that the enemy has casually snatched from us.  It’s time to remember the point of it all…Freedom!  

“The spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”  Luke 4:18-19