Happy Birthday Sweet Daddy!

Today is my Dad’s birthday.  I so wish he were still with us.  In my Beth Moore Bible study, she asked us to think about a bitter experience in our life.  My mind went straight to the day my Dad died.  It was such a shock and still is even though it’s been 16 years.  I can’t imagine a better Dad.  He was so respected and loved by such a vast, diverse group of people that it is mind blowing.  He died in his late 50’s.  That seems younger every year older I get.  I will never understand why God let him die.  I wrestled with it for a long time after his death and finally came to a place of acceptance.  I still don’t like it and still feel shafted.  I wasn’t done needing a Dad. 

The night before he died, my Mom and Dad came up to a youth meeting to see Dan and I.  I hugged my Dad and actually told him I didn’t like him flying on small planes because we just couldn’t go on if something happened to him.  My mom and I always thought something would happen to Dad because he was almost too good to be true.  He died in the front yard the next morning with my mom while they were planting flowers.  I had told him I loved him on the phone an hour before.

We clogged together at my wedding

I had only been married a year.  Dan was still in college and could have used my Dad’s help starting off his career.  We always joked that my Dad started dating Dan before me.  My Dad attended the University of Miami and Dan was a big fan so they instantly bonded.  They would watch Cane games together and cheer on Miami!  Dad would play golf with Dan every Friday for months before we even dated.  Dad thought Dan was an expert golfer and I remember him coming home and telling my mom how Dan had taught him this or that.  Dan was only 19 at the time but really was outstanding at golf and should have pursued it as a career.  I know my Dad would be so proud of Dan and how hard he has worked and sacrificed to take care of our large family. 

Dad was a successful businessman and wise man of God too.  He was an Elder at our church and helped more people than we ever knew.  After his death, we were inundated with letters galore, recounting all the good deeds my Dad did that even my mom didn’t know.  Things like, giving single moms money at Christmas, giving young couples down payment money on houses, giving young boys in Sunday School class their first Bible, counseling young men with failing careers.  It just went on and on.  We got to know even more about the man we loved so much.

The thing that always surprised people was how down to earth and fun my Dad was.  He grew up every summer in Fontana, NC, riding horses, driving boats and even clogging.  He always took his family on great vacations that were always adventurous.  He would jump bareback on a wild horse as it bucked and bucked but the horse would finally yield in submission.  I talked him into to taking me to Colorado during a spring break in college.  Both my mom and dad had never skied but went for it.  Dad was nuts skiing through the trees and one time he even knocked down a lady when we were racing!  He was an outstanding athlete too!  He could hang with the young guys and could swish a basket from anywhere.  Dad used to play me with his left-hand in ping pong so I would have a chance!  He didn't believe in letting kids win either!  :) He used to take me deep sea fishing all the time on his best friend’s boat, The Candy Boat.  He would chum the whole time without one complaint.  I caught a 90-pound Tarpon when I was 13 and Dad was so proud!  He was a true man’s man and I am so grateful Dan got to spend 3 years with him learning from him.  They joked and had so much fun together.   

Dad built me a house when I was in high school that I moved into after I graduated from college. On my last night at home, my Dad picked up my leather jacket that I had thrown on the stairs, and held it and cried.  My mom heard something, ran down and they sat on the stairs and grieved their fourth and last baby leaving the nest. I was a very loved and celebrated daughter.  I was so blessed to have a father who modeled the true love of our Heavenly Father.

I think about Dad so very much when I am with my kids.  I think about how Bonnie has that same calm spirit.  I think about how he would love Maggie so much because she is like my mom, spunky and fun.  I think about how he would so enjoy watching Cane games with Bubba and watching Annie swim.  I think about how much he would take time to listen to all of Ed’s funny stories.  I have made it my life’s goal to have a family with the same qualities that I grew up with.  I know I fall short in so many ways but I desire to also leave a legacy for future generations to emulate just like my Dad has.  My Dad got up early every morning and you would find him sitting in his chair, reading his Bible and praying.  After he died, my mom found his prayer list tucked in his Bible.

I have needed counsel from my Dad a million times over the last 16 years.  I miss his calm, wise spirit, and his integrity and good judgment.  There is no one that I respect more than my Father and we need more men like him today.  He thought the best about people.  He had unshakable faith and he loved my mother more than any other man has ever loved a wife.  I don’t know the mind of God and why he would take a man that meant so much to so many.  All we can do is wait until heaven reunites us all again. Happy Birthday Daddy!  We miss you so much!